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Living your purpose in life is finding the way to your existence. How do you find your passion, and live a purposeful life? In other to achieve this, you will need to learn and study more about yourself. Like; what gets you going, and motivates you. Then you ought to give yourself honest feedback.

I always tell people around me, that you don’t have to find yourself just like that. In the process of identifying who you are, ensure that you are creating your well being into a person that you will be proud of.

Ways to Identify Your Purpose

Life has no meaning when you have no purpose; the joy of life starts by, looking out for your true purpose and aligning it with what you do daily. Most young men and women always want to do things because of pressures mounted on them by their parents and peers. I truly understand that the world is full of competition and comparison. But I always ensure I tell them to take a chill pill, and take the following steps which are;

Bloom where you are planted
  1. Identify your passion: Look out for; what you love doing, even if it entails you reaching out to your past; Do you know those things you have been curious about? Be specific about what inspires you, and then find out how and what it takes for you to get started. Then shoot your shot. Passion is the fire that lights your way.

  2. Making Decisions: let me tell you these; if you are determined on finding your passion, you must take some very necessary steps;
  • Let go of fear, don’t allow fear, pull you back from reaching out for what you love most.

  • Remove Doubts, whatever consumes your mind controls your life. It kills your dreams, it makes you prone to self-sabotage. Tell yourself that you are powerful than you think.
  • Never let the opinion of people around you drain your motives; because you are capable, and you are your only limit. So, be confident in yourself always.
  • Stop making unnecessary excuses and go for what you want. Ensure that you make every second of your life count. Your purpose is like a clock ticking every second; find anyone that you admire positively and emulate them.

   3. Embrace your true self

Find Your Passion And Believe In Your Self

Believe in yourself hence no one will do it for you, your perception about life has nothing to do with your fate but from you. Many of you believe in vision and spirituality. I remember vividly when I was younger then, I see most parents visit pastors and clergy to tell them about their future.

However, they will fast and pray day and night ( I am not saying it’s bad) but the truth is; the majority of what you are told is not true. Who is that person that will speak in your life when your creator (God) has not spoken? Besides, when it’s your time to shine, no one can dim your light.  What you believe in your life is what you become.

I have always believed in who I am, what I am, my aspirations, and what motivates me. Which has helped me grow? Therefore, step out of your comfort zone today and find your passion. Nothing good will ever come out from your comfort zone.

Quit living by your imaginations; you are only imprisoned by your beliefs. Start each day to tell yourself what you are, who you are, and will become. I don’t believe in prophecy, it has ruined the lives of so many people, it has broken marriages, it has broken family union and so much more.

What did you learn from these? I will love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading.

AND HOW TO FIX IT

The reasons why family bonds don’t last are numerous but aside from the five reasons, I have always frowned at discussing your child’s or partners weaknesses with extended family or friends. Honestly, it destroys the bond.

Have you experienced that? How did it make you feel?  Because to me, it is weird. Literally, I frown at parents not having time exclusively with their kids. ( at least weekend) Technology has come to stay, but always remember that whatever you do family comes first. More Also, strive to schedule your priorities with your family. I understand that as a parent, it might seem a bit difficult due to your basic schedule.

But remember that, you ought to build a strong relationship with your family; they are the source of your strength.

Reasons Why Family Bonds Don’t Last And Solutions.

There is a difference from correcting a child with love and correcting a child with condemnation. The five reasons why family bonds don’t last are;

  • Lack of mutual understanding – When you  don’t understand a child, it makes you never to see anything good in that child. Learn to understand your child’s weaknesses and try as much as you can to help them improve on themselves
  • Preferences Over Others – When you practice preferential treatment in your home, you are planting a seed of discord amongst your children; the consequences isn’t going to be easy. Because, It breeds jealousy, and unhealthy competition. Learn to treat your children equally.
  • Deception – Family built on deceit does not last, learn to be transparent, don’t lie to your family just because you want them to see you as a star, tell the truth to them even if it is difficult. Find courage in making them accept their fate and expectations.
  • Inability to Forgive- Sometimes family members finds it difficult to let go of their hurts, even when the offender seems remorseful. You see! Resentment destroys a family, Forgiveness is the greatest form of love; you have to stay committed to your family when you offend each other
  • Claiming to be right all the time- You have to give rooms for corrections; no one knows it all. Learn to open a room for discussion and suggestions, try to understand everyone’s view by carrying them along in your plans and schedules.

However, family does not necessarily mean that you must be related by blood. It could also be people who want you in their lives; the ones that accept you for who you are and not what you have to offer. The ones who will go extra miles to ensure that you are happy to see you smile always.

Unkown

After several experiences in life, I have come to terms that, the true definition of family should be determined by the behavior and not by blood; not all family is blood and not all blood is family. But if you want to build strong family bonds, then that will be awesome.

Did you learn something from these? What’s your take? I will love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading,

Tonokez.

A cow lived in the forest and was satisfied in life. Then, one day he saw a swan. “This swan is so white,” he thought, “and I am so black. This swan must be the happiest bird in the world.”
He expressed his thoughts to the swan.

The swan replied, “I was feeling that I was the happiest bird around until I saw aparrot, which has two colors. I now think the parrot is the happiest bird in creation.”

The Crow approached the parrot.
The parrot explained, “I lived a very happy life until I saw a peacock. I have only two colors, but the peacock has multiple colors.”
Then the crow visited a peacock in the zoo and saw that hundreds of people had gathered to see him. After the people left, the crow approached the peacock.
“Dear peacock,” the crow said, “you are so beautiful.

Every day thousands of people come to see you, and when people see me, they immediately shoo me away. I think you are the happiest bird on the planet.”
The peacock replied, “I always thought that I was the most beautiful and happy bird on the planet. But because of my beauty, I am entrapped in this zoo. I examined the zoo very carefully, and I have realized that the crow is the only bird not kept in a cage. So for past few days I have been thinking that if I were a crow, I could happily roam everywhere.

That’s our problem, sometimes, we make unnecessary comparison with others and become sad. We don’t value what God has given us. This only lead to the vicious cycle of unhappiness.

-Ben Carson

Choose to be happy

Tonkezblog

I have told myself that; to choose happiness, and be contended, no matter the situation. Therefore, you should as well.  It’s not a must that you will have everything you need in life. Because, there will always be someone, who will have more or less than you. Make the best out of your life instead and be contented with yourself. Alwayd learn to see the good in everything. Unbind any awful thoughts and start creating space for positive vibes and optimism. Being angry and swimming in the ocean of unnecessary thoughts is never worth it.

Happinness is the highest level of success, Stay positive!

Thanks for reading,

Tonokez Blog

Children are gift from God! Guess you know already.

It’s quite necessary that parent should be calm and careful with their choice of words and actions, towards/before your child. A child can be understood in several ways; by carefully observing them as they play, eat, and so on. Look for consistent traits, like their best activities; how social they are, are they willing to explore? However, spending time with your kids at all times and try to create a conversation with them by letting them know the happenings of life. Like, what excites them mostly and vice versa.

Quality time must not be always about talking, or doing something together. Alternatively, you can observe them by looking out for some insights about their personality.

children-tonokez.com

Children are always at their very best, when you give them an undivided attention. Try as much as you can to plan at least an activity that allows you spend time exclusively, with them. While you do they will open up to you, by revealing themselves; discussing their fears, weaknesses and strength.

Environment can as well affects a child brain development. Because; your child’s behaviour is solely dependent, on the kind of people around them and how they interact with them.

However, it’s ideal you take your time to guage a kind of ambience that has been created at home and your child’s school.

“Children are great initiators. So give them something great to imitate.”

– Verybestquote.com

” Parents are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement, and action has an effect. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on the child than the parents.”

– Bob Keeshoni

Making your child feel loved is your sole responsibility as a parent.

Tonokezblog

Get the best out of your child;

  • Try to have dinner together as a family at least (or any other meal).
  • Reveal your happiness to them.
  • Teach them to listen to other people’s feelings.
  • List out their strength with a compliment.
  • Allow them have free time to play.
  • Listen when they talk ( VERY IMPORTANT).
  • Allow them express their feelings and validates them.

Learn to also make your child understand that; feelings are “OK” and there’s nothing they could do that would push you away or make you love them less. Behavior isn’t perfect! Communication is absolutely necessary.

Embracing the imperfect, and show children that they’re worth holding close to your heart no matter what.

Kelly Bartlett

Thanks for reading,

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Tonkezblog

Life is so precious, you don’t have to live your life to impress anyone. People may have an opinion about you, but you must learn to live without your critics.
Have you ever felt so dejected and angry that life never apologizes for being so cruel?

You feel so little and inconsequential, in the world that is out of control, because you absolutely, have no control. Having this weird feelings that you want to put thing right in place, you want to restore the damages. Sometimes, you ask yourself. Can’t anyone take responsibility for the damages?

Tonokezblog
Drowning

Most times, you would want to give up on life, you begin to hate the reasons, why you should be here. You go crazy at the way people do, what pleases them without any form of remorse, to their fellow human. Jeez! You can’t fathom the exact word that suits your mood.

When you felt all was well, it was all a mirage because, all was never well. You know what? This is a hard nut to crack! Sure it is.

I usually think that the worst thing in the world, is yet to come, and our feelings does not kill us. If you have experienced something awful, then you will begin to know that emotions, can obliterate you on the inside. It is just like a sudden earthquakes, hurricane and tsunamis, the apocalypse is happening, right under your skin, you are the only one feeling it, only YOU! This is just useless, it does not make sense. Imagining how much we can get hurt and survive. I don’t know how we can endure this injury. And I also don’t have answers to that. At least not now.

All I am sure of, is the experience and knowledge, that as long as we survived the hurt, there has to be a reason for it. Yeah! There just have to be a reason for it. And may be it’s okay that we don’t have the answers, we just have to trust it.

Tonkezblog
Love yourself

And you know what? You are doing just fine and still here. Even though it hurts so much at times. We are here together.

Discipline is being able to force yourself to do something in spite of how you feel over and over again.

“Psychology says you get depressed because you know that you’re not what you should be”

“Depression is a flaw in chemistry not character”

Thanks for reading,

By Tonkezblog

From my previous post on battered mind you find out that depression is quite exhausting. Although it’s the world most common mental disorder, with other forms emotional distress.

What is Depression?

Depression is a strong emotion that exhibit high levels of physiological arousal which often makes you feels suicidal. It’s an extended period of feeling extremely low, which also disrupt a person’s ability to enjoy life like;

  • BodyHeadaches, change of appetite which often lead to either weight gain or weight loss. Always getting tired, body aches and pains, weak immunity, sleeping less or more.
  • Thoughts; This is the worst of it all because, you are extremely unnecessarily sad, irritable which makes you feel that they aren’t good enough, lonely, empty etc. always pessimistic, and having negative appearance, preoccupied with death or suicide, unable to get focused and motivated positively.
  • Behaviour; you feel withdrawn from social activities, slowed speech, decreased interest for sex (ADULTS) Difficult finding or starting a task, or not keeping up with their responsibilities.

The symptoms are many which varies in severity, you owe yourself the love that you so freely give to yourself and others. A lot of people strive so hard to survive and if they don’t get positive results in their lives, they give up. There are lots of stories about men and women jumping over the bridge, just to end their lives. A lot of people judged them, even though such act is condemnable, before God and the world. Sometimes, you just want to give up on life, probably because, no one want to understand your feelings, and even if they do, they will still judge you. Very understandable! At every moment of our lives, we all go through some phases in our lives. Morealso, we all have our ways of coping with any situation. Apparently, self recovery can make you more anxious; having a ill feeling that it’s getting worse. Feel free to cry, isolate yourself if you wish to. Always remember that; “it get worse before it gets better.  

 REOVERY PROCESS

However, start your recovery process by not believing the things you tell yourself when you are sad and alone?

Like a soul sucking torture; fighting an exhausting battles against your self.
Then, wake up every morning to fight the same demon that left you so tired the night before and the NEGATIVE committee of friends that meets inside your head, to sit down and shut up! Because you deserve to be happy.

In case no one told you today;

  • You are beautiful, you’re loved.
  • You’re needed.
  • You are alive for a reason.
  • You’re stronger than you think.
  • You’re going to get through this.

Never give up! 

  • Stop hating your self for everything you aren’t, and start loving yourself for everything you already are.
  • Be strong for getting out of bed in the morning when it feels like hell.
  • Do things even though they scare you or make you anxious.
  • You’re amazing for trying and holding on no matter how hard life gets. Be you’re proud of yourself!

Remember that no matter how useless you feel, you’re someone’s reason to smile.

Never give up because this is a battle of the mind that you must win.
Nobody will protect you from your sufferings. Sometimes, therapy don’t seem to help, The awful feeling is there but you have to survive, endure, love and run as far as you can, towards the direction of your purpose in life. 

Depression is a mental illness, not a choice.

Always remember that it’s not something you can “snap out of” but you can you choose to be happy instead.

Shout out to everyone fighting a battle, that most people don’t understand. You are more awesome than you think!

Thanks for reading,

By Tonkezblog.

What is your biggest goals in life? Do you desire money, fame, and luxury? You can and you will, “Only if” you choose to assimilate patience as a virtue. Although, sometimes as human, we feel unmotivated, anxious and unhappy. Especially if we don’t seem to get those things we desire for. Agitation does not solve anything, it drains your positive energy instead. I understand that most of you actually see life as been complicated. Somewhat! Depending on your level of perception. Life is actually simple but we like to bother ourselves over little or nothing, which is what makes it more complicated. Learn to accept that;

  • Your life is as good as your mindset.
  • Your decision to get it right or wrong depends on your thoughts.
  • Try new things.
  • Believe that you can

Therefore, decide to be HAPPY now because, it will get better. You might face some hurdles, but you will definitely get there. The choice is yours.

What’s your take? I will glad to hear from you.

Thank you for reading,

TonokezBlog.

As a blogger, sometimes I literally want to give up. Especially when I feel that everything around me isn’t going well as planned. People around me try to frustrate my effort and plans. But every day I chose to look for a way out and stayed positive. I remembered saying that I will be sharing any challenges that comes my way. I believe that my acceptance to any challenges, will make me feel the exhilaration of my victory.

In life we are bound to face some challenges, sometimes we just want to give on everything around us, including our passion. It’s very okay! Feelings are normal, but we don’t have to give up on our aspirations. Those challenges are meant to make life interesting, overcoming them make it meaningful.

Life is an interesting journey, the challenges you face are lessons that serves your soul. You don’t grow when everything is easy, you grow when you face some hurdles in life.

Sometimes those with the difficult pasts ends up creating the most beautiful futures.

Learn to adapt, survive and strive in any situations that  you find yourself. The pains you feel now, will definitely be the strength for your future. Because there’s an opportunity for growth when we face any hurdle. My husband always tell me that; there’s no challenge that’s more than challenging myself. It helped me discovered who I was. So I challenge myself to always find an inner strength to get through them. Therefore, you will never know your limits, until you push yourself to them. Kindly allow your challenges to become your motivation.

What’s your take? I will glad to hear from you.

Thank you for reading,