What do you understand by the word “PRINCIPLES “?

Every human, has some sets of principles in them. It’s a moral rule or belief about what is right and wrong, which influences how people behave. Take for instance, I told you something about me or anything, and you later found out that I actually lied to you. Sincerely, you will never ever trust or accept anything I say to you. And you might do everything at all cost to stay away from me true or false? Trust your answers will be ” TRUE “

Therefore, Imbibing basic principles in your everyday lifestyle, creates lots of improvements in every ramifications of your life. Ensure, that your principles stands for honesty and truth irrespective of all odds.

My 4 daily principles; that will help give you a successful and a happy life (My secrets)

Choose what you really want and go for it.

I am so confident of myself, whilst I choose what I want. Therefore, don’t be a mediocre! Make your choice a priority and never let anyone tell you otherwise. If you don’t see the brighter future; take a few steps back wards and analyze the situation, and if it doesn’t go well with you. Re-strategize and move over to the next step. You ought to keep moving until your mission is accomplished. Definitely, you will see lucidity in your efforts.

Be consistent on what you do.

Because it’s your holy grail. Take for instance, if you want to lose some weight, you will have to go on a diet and at the some time practice some exercise consistently right? You can’t eat vegetables and fruits today and decide to go on burger and ice cream for the next two day or more. Then come again to your vegetable diet. And when you don’t seem to see any results. You get paranoid over nothing; expecting magic over night. Hell no! It won’t work! Because; for you to achieve something, you have to keep following a routine until you get your desired results. So does it apply to your everyday life, whatever you do today, follow that routine and keep doing your best. Till you get what you want.

Be determined

Even when you don’t see any improvement, which is absolutely normal. Remember, Rome was not build in a day, was it? The answer is NO. If you want a transformation in your life today, you must take measurable action. Do something! Always keep doing something and be determined about it. You will see an awesome change in your life. (I do that a lot so far as it’s something that’s going to be essential to me. I will work tirelessly until I achieve my purpose) Although, it might take some little time. Success is sure for a determined mind. What ever you are doing today, have a sense of discipline that you must succeed.

Follow your passion

I literally love the things I do, sound interesting right? But I ensure that whatever I do i am mindful of my actions. And when I see that It’s pulling back at the expense of what will pull me backwards. I will just sit down and pull the strings together. Therefore; always ensure that each area of your life a balance. Don’t do too much or too little. Keep all your fires burning.

However, when you imbibe principles in your life, it’s likely certain that you will get closer to your goals at every given time. Because, it’s a universal law of nature. Practicing principles daily will help make your life easier, because it will guide you in terms of uncertainty. And proffer solutions to you when things seems difficult.

In life, everything that is controlled by your actions is your principles.

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You want to succeed right? But how do you plan to go about that? To me, I have always had my plans figured out, even when I don’t see positive results, I still learn to trust the process and create another opportunity; which is the key factor to success. I also want you to always do that too.

Moreover, don’t get distracted with things that do not align with your passion; you have to always learn to be the better version of your self every now and then. Although, for you to be successful, you will fail several times. It’s now up to you to either get up from that floor, dust your feet and move further, as fast as you can or stay there.

Most of you will choose to remain on that floor; because you had a little bruise. Then, you give up! Just like that! What makes you think that everything good in life comes easy? Hey! you see those falls you had; was actually preparing you for something better ahead. (believe it or not) The falls are the opportunities you have to better yourself, which leads you to your passion. All you need is to take it one day at a time, ( don’t be too hard on yourself) and decide to pursue your dreams.

A Short Story

I always like to tell stories because; it gives clarity on my topic, which is likely to help you resonate better.

I had a friend who lost her job and decided to go into a female fashion business. However, sometimes she will call me on phone complaining that her business isn’t moving, that she is tired of the business. Therefore, she wants to start up another business. (She had an impression that, if she switched to a different business, she will be successful ) I understood her plight; she just needed to refrain her mindset, so I gave the several strategies that could help her make sales, on that same business.

Then she started imbibing what I taught her in her life and her business. A few months later, she visited me, with hampers, got some gifts for my children and I was stunned; I was not expecting anything in return, I do not do favors to receive any gift (that’s me) you need to see the expression of joy in her. She said; I can’t thank you enough for your advice, wow! In the first few months, she made a huge sale, and it was like a dream to her. She decided to come to say “thank you” truthfully success is in your mindset”

However, learn to create an opportunity when you can’t find any, you don’t have to wait for it. Honestly, our society has thought us to look for a job instead of to create opportunities. The Obstacles that come your way are not meant to stop you. Rather, they were designed to point the new way to a new route, new possibilities, and open doors. Creating a solid mindset can go a long way towards helping you stay successful always.

Ways to build a successful mindset

Be Flexible.

Sometimes, things don’t always go well as plan, as you expect it to. But you must have to maintain a certain level of emotional fitness. However, you don’t expect everything thing to work out right always. But that does not mean that it won’t be successful. Always be ready to open up any adjustments as the situation arises. Adapting to that situation will help you stay on track.

Maintain Positivism

You can be your own worst nightmare at times. But it’s very necessary you take consciousness of what you say to yourself. Instead of involving in self-sabotage, why not see positivity in your everyday life. Develop and practice positive thoughts always, Learn to encourage your self, reward yourself. Because; your results in your life always start and end with the way you think. Always check yourself before you destroy yourself with your own thoughts.

Patience And Consistency

Patience is indeed a virtue, from my story above you understood that my friend wasn’t patient. Sometimes, when you’re impatient you lose greater opportunities. Whatever you do in your life, always know that there are no short cuts in life, you just need to always work hard, and be patient and be consistent about it. Perhaps; these are the most important keys to a successful mindset in life.

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Living your purpose in life is finding the way to your existence. How do you find your passion, and live a purposeful life? In other to achieve this, you will need to learn and study more about yourself. Like; what gets you going, and motivates you. Then you ought to give yourself honest feedback.

I always tell people around me, that you don’t have to find yourself just like that. In the process of identifying who you are, ensure that you are creating your well being into a person that you will be proud of.

Ways to Identify Your Purpose

Life has no meaning when you have no purpose; the joy of life starts by, looking out for your true purpose and aligning it with what you do daily. Most young men and women always want to do things because of pressures mounted on them by their parents and peers. I truly understand that the world is full of competition and comparison. But I always ensure I tell them to take a chill pill, and take the following steps which are;

Bloom where you are planted
  1. Identify your passion: Look out for; what you love doing, even if it entails you reaching out to your past; Do you know those things you have been curious about? Be specific about what inspires you, and then find out how and what it takes for you to get started. Then shoot your shot. Passion is the fire that lights your way.

  2. Making Decisions: let me tell you these; if you are determined on finding your passion, you must take some very necessary steps;
  • Let go of fear, don’t allow fear, pull you back from reaching out for what you love most.

  • Remove Doubts, whatever consumes your mind controls your life. It kills your dreams, it makes you prone to self-sabotage. Tell yourself that you are powerful than you think.
  • Never let the opinion of people around you drain your motives; because you are capable, and you are your only limit. So, be confident in yourself always.
  • Stop making unnecessary excuses and go for what you want. Ensure that you make every second of your life count. Your purpose is like a clock ticking every second; find anyone that you admire positively and emulate them.

   3. Embrace your true self

Find Your Passion And Believe In Your Self

Believe in yourself hence no one will do it for you, your perception about life has nothing to do with your fate but from you. Many of you believe in vision and spirituality. I remember vividly when I was younger then, I see most parents visit pastors and clergy to tell them about their future.

However, they will fast and pray day and night ( I am not saying it’s bad) but the truth is; the majority of what you are told is not true. Who is that person that will speak in your life when your creator (God) has not spoken? Besides, when it’s your time to shine, no one can dim your light.  What you believe in your life is what you become.

I have always believed in who I am, what I am, my aspirations, and what motivates me. Which has helped me grow? Therefore, step out of your comfort zone today and find your passion. Nothing good will ever come out from your comfort zone.

Quit living by your imaginations; you are only imprisoned by your beliefs. Start each day to tell yourself what you are, who you are, and will become. I don’t believe in prophecy, it has ruined the lives of so many people, it has broken marriages, it has broken family union and so much more.

What did you learn from these? I will love to hear from you.

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There’s no perfect family; learn to be a role model and not a critic.

No family is perfect as we all know right? Although being family does not necessarily mean that you must be related by blood. Like I have always said. But, families should always learn to co-exist amongst themselves.

However, it’s weird seeing people interfere in family issues and then go about saying shit about their flaws.

If you have any issues with any of your family members, do yourself a favor and sort it out amicably within yourselves. Don’t wash your dirty linen in public and expect miracles. You don’t have to feel bad when the people you sold your family values to; start throwing stones, ( at you and your family, because you caused it) fret not! It’s your fault, not theirs.

Always learn to shut your mouth.

For the fact that someone disclosed personal related issues to you does not give the right to spill it out and say what you like. Learn to be a light and not a judge. I want you to understand that, sometimes, if someone opens up to you to tell you about their family feud. It simply means that you are trusted and considered part of their family. Or probably, they are vulnerable and needed someone to talk to them at that point.

It’s no big deal, because; we all need each other at some points of our lives. So why be a critic instead of a model? All these are the major causes of family disintegration.

I have seen where siblings betray each other, and pretend to the world that there’s love amongst them. Stop bad mouthing yourselves and allow love to lead always.

Why you should choose to be a model

It doesn’t matter if you are related by blood or not. There is a primary purpose why they chose to tell about their problem. Therefore, be a source of peace in their lives. Address whatever issues that needed an urgent response without prejudice or fear. Make them understand that their peace of mind is paramount. Moreover, make them understand the consequences of a divided family.

You are not perfect, so am I and so are they. Try as much as you can to settle any issues with love. Instead of criticizing anyone, give them a clearer picture of who they are. You don’t need to paint a beautiful picture out of the situation at hand.

I have a lot of issues I settle severally amongst families. Sometimes it’s challenging. But I ensure that I put my myself in their perspectives. I don’t need to sugar coat anything. I say things just as they are. It’s that simple!

Therefore, if you practice these often and then try to understand that everyone has flaws, you shouldn’t be biased in any way. Whether you are benefiting from the person or not. Tell them the truth! Tell them what they should hear and not what they want to hear.


I have met with several families just to settle issues. Perhaps! It’s not every family issues that I involve myself. Sometimes, I tell them ” settle your scores” And if you ask me why; my reasons are because there are some things that you don’t need to make a fuss out of. Privacy is very necessary I must say, and staying low key is dope! Because nothing good usually comes from people knowing much about you. There are negative people around you, so don’t add up to that toxicity.

However, family issues should and must remain within the family. Instead of going about spitting fire about your family. Learn to consider the consequences of your actions. Therefore always think before you act, ”NO FAMILY IS PERFECT ” and there is nothing like a perfect family. Nothing whasoever!

Does this make sense to you? I would you like you to drop a comment on the comments section.

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As a Nigerian Mum, I feel tempted to yell at my kids. Trust me when I tell you that it’s not easy to raise a child. Because at times they get to your nerves and you will be like; ”I can’t deal” I yell sometimes though but I always ended up feeling sober. (yeah! I am that emotional ) You know why? It’s never intentional! Kids are meant to be understood; they are not adults. They take life as it is, and their level of learning is slow.

Then again, I always ask myself; what’s is the point yelling at your kids and still say ”i am sorry for yelling at you, it was never intentional”. Don’t get me wrong, I owe that to them anyway. I sat down one day I told myself ” hey babe, you can avoid this you know” I had to start reading, doing research, attending seminars and workshops on parenting.

How I Stopped Yelling.

Do you know one bitter truth about bettering your life? It’s only when you know your weaknesses and try to be better a person; not for anyone, but for yourself. I started practicing how to remain calm; when they do anything that puts me off. I learnt to make myself act like a child just to get their attention. Then I figured out that my kids needed to feel closed and connected to me as a parent.

Moreover, kids need lots of attention to bring out their best. Raising intrinsically motivated children is never easy. But you can when you find out how! Praying for your child is PERFECT but not enough.

What I did instead

A punitive disciple is for shit heads. In this 21st century, kids know what you think that they don’t know. There are wiser than adults. Therefore you have to understand that punitive discipline will never help you get the best from your child. Because; it destroys their confidence.

Freaking out on your child for freaking out is as hypocritical as it is ineffective, slow down, breath. Then act like the adult you want them to become.


Follow these steps instead;

  • Be their role model; kids will never listen to what you say as a parent, rather, they will watch and emulate your attitude. Most parents don’t pay attention to what their kids have got to say to them. Give them optimum attention, don’t expect otherwise, hear what they’ve got to say to you. Show them what active listening looks like. There are no two ways about it; when you listen to them, they will listen to you.
  • Learn to say please; The word ”please” is magical. Yeah! Instead of yelling like; ”stop doing that! Or start doing this ” ( you are wasting your time) Always know that a negative request will often meet a negative response. Therefore, it’s best you say” please don’t do that or please sit down. Try this and tell me if it actually worked. This was my best and I still use it that word ”please”.
  • Don’t Compel them; they prefer you to give them option instead. Once in a while allow them to choose for them selves and guide them through.
  • Respect their play time; My kids love cartoon a lot; their favorite channel is Nicktoons or Disney channel. Whenever they are watching a cartoon, I give them an active attitude. Kids are sometimes captivated by their own activities therefore, don’t feel that you are being ignored when you call for their attention and they don’t listen. Instead of yelling at them from afar, quietly walk towards them and tell them anything. ( remember that they are kids; talk to them gently)
  • Give them breathing space; they need time to explore their potentials. It will help them live without fear or being reprimanded. Allow them to play and resolve disagreement on their own. All you need to do is to be observant; whereby you notice that the situation requires you to step in. Do that immediately and set boundaries.

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What is self-evolving? It’s simply a process of improving yourself through various activities that develop your talent and potentials. You are in a long-term relationship with yourself and you have every opportunity to evolve yourself. Always remember that, what you think, you become.

I try to develop myself, even amidst pain. ( you can’t imagine how hard I push myself) Do you know why? I am conscious of the fact that, no one will love me like me. I always believed and accepted that I am the the core architect of my reality, thoughts, perception and reaction to external forces. So are you!

When you are evolving to your higher self, the road seems lonely. But you are simply shedding the energies that no longer match the frequency of your destiny

The mindful

Let them judge you

I understand that people will always want to judge you, based on the mistakes in the past. But will you stay in your shell forever? Who does not have a past? Kindly show me one and I will show you a pathological liar! Those mistakes of your past; are your tickets to success. It’s left to you to learn from them or not.

You have to let go; those bad vibes that does not serve any purpose to your fate. It’s that simple! At the same time tough; probably because you are alone. But, once you put your heads high and remain focus, you will certainly find new ways to bloom into your best self.

You Can

No matter the kind of challenges, that you have encountered in life, don’t let it hold you back from being who you want to be. Morealso, being knowledgeable to the fact that you’re powerful to create the life that you need, is a stepping stone to your self-growth. Try as much as you can to avoid words that speaks against yourself and others. Use the power of your mouth in the direction of truth, positivity and love instead. Therefore, take  a moment today and purposefully connect with your higher self. That special part of you which is always connected with source; love, wisdom and compassion. It holds no judgment or fear. Yeah! It’s in you, your purest form of light….

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The reasons why family bonds don’t last are numerous but aside from the five reasons, I have always frowned at discussing your child’s or partners weaknesses with extended family or friends. Honestly, it destroys the bond.

Have you experienced that? How did it make you feel?  Because to me, it is weird. Literally, I frown at parents not having time exclusively with their kids. ( at least weekend) Technology has come to stay, but always remember that whatever you do family comes first. More Also, strive to schedule your priorities with your family. I understand that as a parent, it might seem a bit difficult due to your basic schedule.

But remember that, you ought to build a strong relationship with your family; they are the source of your strength.

Reasons Why Family Bonds Don’t Last And Solutions.

There is a difference from correcting a child with love and correcting a child with condemnation. The five reasons why family bonds don’t last are;

  • Lack of mutual understanding – When you  don’t understand a child, it makes you never to see anything good in that child. Learn to understand your child’s weaknesses and try as much as you can to help them improve on themselves
  • Preferences Over Others – When you practice preferential treatment in your home, you are planting a seed of discord amongst your children; the consequences isn’t going to be easy. Because, It breeds jealousy, and unhealthy competition. Learn to treat your children equally.
  • Deception – Family built on deceit does not last, learn to be transparent, don’t lie to your family just because you want them to see you as a star, tell the truth to them even if it is difficult. Find courage in making them accept their fate and expectations.
  • Inability to Forgive- Sometimes family members finds it difficult to let go of their hurts, even when the offender seems remorseful. You see! Resentment destroys a family, Forgiveness is the greatest form of love; you have to stay committed to your family when you offend each other
  • Claiming to be right all the time- You have to give rooms for corrections; no one knows it all. Learn to open a room for discussion and suggestions, try to understand everyone’s view by carrying them along in your plans and schedules.

However, family does not necessarily mean that you must be related by blood. It could also be people who want you in their lives; the ones that accept you for who you are and not what you have to offer. The ones who will go extra miles to ensure that you are happy to see you smile always.


After several experiences in life, I have come to terms that, the true definition of family should be determined by the behavior and not by blood; not all family is blood and not all blood is family. But if you want to build strong family bonds, then that will be awesome.

Did you learn something from these? What’s your take? I will love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading,


Divorce rate in the world is stupefying! What are your thoughts about that? Is it that there was no mutual understanding or love amongst couples? Marriage can only be beautiful if you work as a team. The word of God states that;

a man will leave the Father’s house and get married to a woman and they will become one flesh”

Explanation of marriage

Basics of Marriage

Marriage is beautiful like a rose, But, there is no way to hold on to something beautiful; not without consequences. Which is the reason why roses have thorns. Oh yes! You must have heard of the saying from our parents or experienced couples that; ”marriage is not a bed of roses”.


It’s an institution between two consenting adults; who chooses to love each other, even on those days they struggle to like each other.

Marriage has different meaning; depends on your perception.
It’s an institution is like a house. whereby, a light bulb burns out, you don’t go and buy a new house right? you fix the light bulb either.

Marital Concept

A good marriage requires time and effort; you have to work for it, cultivate and nurture it to grow. Then learn to forgive and let go of any resentments and there must be loyalty between you.

Remember that; the devil love to see you quite, and marriages to crash; phew! Just like that? Decide that your marriage is worth fighting for; on your knees.

The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s green where you water it.

Practice Perseverance

I want you to understand that for your marriage to work, you both has to build it; , and in other to that, you must to be ready to;

  • Fight for your marriage on your knees (be prayerful).
  • Confront your spouse and resolve your differences.
  • Respect your boundaries.
  • Leave the scene, if any of gets furious.
  • Do hard things for God’s glory and the healthiness of your marriage.
  • Never go to bed angry.
  • Eat together, play and laugh together.
  • Bath together.
  • Create time for yourselves.
  • Understand that quarrels are normal;
  • Have sex often.

Sounds absurd and seems difficult hun? You can do it!

Marriage Box

Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for: companionship, intimacy, friendship, etc. The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving,loving, serving,praising and keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in,the box will be empty.”

-Marriage Box

If you want to savage your home, you ought to understand that; Marriage is not 50-50, same as divorce. Marriage has to be 100-100. It is definitely not dividing everything into half either; love is not in marriage, love in people. That’s has decided to stay together forever, no matter what.

However, couples that are “meant to be” are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart but come out stronger than they were before.

if a man expects a woman to be an angel in his life, he must first create heaven for her; Angels don’t live in hell..


Please if you are experiencing any form of domestic violence or abuse or occasional adultery. Please speak out! No matter how much sacrifices you feel that you have invested in your relationship/marriage. Your life first! You deserve respect and true happiness...

It really takes two to tango.

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By Tonkezblog

Firstly, what is prostrate? A prostrate is a gland in the male reproductive system, roughly a size of a chest nut, located just below the urinary bladder, and it runs through by the urethra.

Then what is prostrate cancer? A prostrate cancer occurs when the cancer cell spreads around the prostrate. Here below is a pictorial view of the contrast between prostrate and prostrate cancer.

According to WHO (World Health Organization), prostrate cancer is one of the most common causes of death amongst men.

One of six men will be diagnosed with cancer during his lifetime. Although, it’s very rare in men younger than 40 (forty) years. But the chances of having the disease increases, after the age of 50 (fifty). Almost two out of three diseases are found in men, over the age of 65.

Possible Symptoms;

Here are the likely symptoms of prostrate cancers. None of these following symptoms occurs until it spreads. They are as follow;

  • Difficulty Urinating
  • Weak urine flow
  • Blood in semen
  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Pelvic pain and discomfort
  • Bone pains and stiffness.

However, the exact role of a diet in prostrate cancer is unknown, but several factors have been studied, and they includes;

  • Men who eat a lot of red meat and high dairy products seem to have a slightly higher chance of getting prostrate cancer.

Though very slow in progression. If there are any suspicion, only an ultrasound-guided biopsy can set the diagnosis.

Prostrate cancer is in two STAGINGS:

  1. Clinical Stage
  2. Pathological Stage

Moreover, be mindful that prostrate cancer at a very early stage, can definitely be treated. Going for an annual check-up minimizes the risk of death if diagnosed in an early stage.


  • PSA SCREENING TEST. PSA is a test, that measures the amount of PSA (Prostrate Specific Antigen) in the blood. It’s a prostrate protein that is usually found on small amounts in a man’s blood.
  • DIGITAL RECTAL EXAMINATION. Might be disturbing though, but it’s usually painless and lasts very little


Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, is the most effective way of not only preventing prostrate cancer but your general well being. Health is wealth like you always hear or see. Healthy lifestyle promotes healthy life. Take care of yourself, watch what you eat, choose nutritional foods, lots of vegetables, nuts, seeds. It’s better to be safe than sorry.


Thanks for reading

By Tonkezblog